Breaking Barriers: Women, Negotiation, and the Path to Equity

International Women’s Day is a time to celebrate achievements, reflect on progress, and highlight the challenges that women still face in various aspects of life—including the workplace. And on this theme, one of the most significant hurdles women encounter in their professional journeys is negotiation, particularly when it comes to salaries.

The statistics are striking: 20% of women never negotiate at all. As a result, they forgo an average of $7,000 in their first year alone and risk losing between $650,000 and $1 million over a 45-year career. 69% of women feel anxious or worried about salary negotiations and the fear of being perceived as aggressive or unlikable often deters women from advocating for themselves. However negotiation is a key component of workplace progression and mastering this skill is essential for financial security and professional advancement.

The skill of negotiation, like any other, can be practiced, improved and honed and here we share some steps towards becoming an expert negoatiator:

1.    The Power of Preparation

Negotiation success begins long before stepping into a meeting. Preparation is key: understanding what you want, why you deserve it, and what alternatives exist increases confidence and effectiveness. A well-prepared negotiator gathers salary data to benchmark their worth and structures a persuasive argument around their achievements and capabilities. Practicing negotiation through role-play or visualisation enhances readiness and reduces anxiety, helping individuals approach discussions with greater self-assurance.

2.    The Role of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is another vital tool for successful negotiation. Awareness of one’s emotions and the ability to manage them prevents reactivity and enhances composure. Confidence, a crucial component of emotional intelligence, reduces anxiety and fosters a positive mindset. Mindfulness techniques such as meditation can help individuals become more self-aware and emotionally controlled, ensuring they respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively during negotiations.

3.    Negotiating Communally: Shifting the Narrative

Women often face backlash when advocating for themselves, as assertiveness can be misinterpreted as aggression. One effective strategy to navigate this challenge is negotiating communally—framing requests in ways that highlight benefits for the team or organisation. By demonstrating concern for others, individuals can minimise social penalties while still achieving their goals. The multi-issue package approach, where multiple aspects of a job offer are negotiated together, allows individuals to appear collaborative rather than confrontational.

4.    Building Trust and Managing Perceptions

Trust is the foundation of any successful negotiation. Without rapport, parties may withhold crucial information, fearing exploitation. It is important for one to recognise how they are perceived and adjust their communication style accordingly. Pausing to assess reactions, adjusting tone, and reading the other party’s needs can strengthen relationships and lead to better outcomes.

Expressing emotion in negotiation is a double-edged sword. While passion can convey conviction, excessive emotion may hinder decision-making and credibility. Emotional intelligence—self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills—enables individuals to navigate complex negotiations more effectively.

5.    Overcoming Fear and Recognizing Opportunities

One of the biggest obstacles to negotiation is fear—fear of rejection, conflict, or being perceived negatively. However, avoiding negotiation only reinforces power imbalances. Women negotiate only 25% as often as men, and about 20% never negotiate at all. The more women engage in negotiation, even in low-stakes situations, the more confident and competent they become in high-stakes discussions. Reframing negotiation as a problem-solving exercise rather than a confrontation can ease anxiety and encourage participation.

How to Look and Sound Confident

Confidence in negotiation isn’t just about what you say—it’s also about how you say it.

• Eye contact: Engaging eye contact builds credibility and assertiveness.

• Open posture: Removing physical barriers creates an aura of confidence and approachability.

• Gestures: Purposeful movements enhance engagement and reinforce key points.

• Vocal delivery: Avoid filler words, practice pacing, and use strategic pauses to emphasize critical messages. Research shows that effective speakers maintain a pace of around 160 words per minute, speeding up for details and slowing down for important points.

Navigating Virtual Negotiations

With the rise of remote work, virtual negotiation has become a necessity. However, it often results in poorer outcomes and diminished trust. To counteract these challenges:

• Use video rather than email or text, as face-to-face interaction fosters trust.

• Utilise a larger screen, as research suggests it improves negotiation performance.

• Engage in small talk before the meeting to establish rapport and encourage collaboration.

The Gender Gap in Salary Negotiation

The myth that women simply don’t ask for raises has been debunked—studies show that they do ask, but they receive raises less often than men. Women obtain pay increases 15% of the time, compared to 20% for men. Younger women are negotiating at higher rates, signaling a shift in workplace norms, but disparities remain. Kathryn Heath’s research found that while women do advocate for themselves, they often don’t ask for enough. Understanding market value, aiming higher, and persisting through resistance are critical strategies for closing the pay gap.

Final Thoughts: Stepping into Your Power

Negotiation is not just about securing a higher salary—it’s about valuing oneself, advocating for one’s worth, and shaping a more equitable future. The best negotiators leave the table not only with what they want but also with the other party believing they’ve achieved a fair outcome. By preparing thoroughly, cultivating emotional intelligence, building trust, and embracing opportunities to negotiate, women can break the cycle of under-compensation and claim the success they deserve.

This International Women’s Day, let’s commit to empowering women to negotiate with confidence—because when women win, we all win.