Welcome Covid babies! – Presence and planning are key to your career.
Since the birth of this global pandemic, we are seeing both baby booms and busts in various countries across the globe. Over 50% of Europeans are saying they would postpone their pregnancy whereas in Indonesia apparently 10 million married couples have stopped using contraception. These stats may have cultural and circumstantial factors behind them, but one thing for sure is that planning and presence are two essential aspects influencing these decisions. The same should apply when it comes to your career maternity leave. We caught up with Danica Murphy, Director and Founder of PRISM Leadership and Change Consulting to discuss the key factors of preparing for maternity leave.
“Everyone is different”, she states, each individual has their own story to tell and their own worries, anxieties, nerves and, of course, excitement, when preparing for their maternity leave. It is important to stay connected to your career, however, as Danica mentions, “you will never get the two years of early motherhood back”, so it is important to really be present in the amazing gift that is bringing a child into the world. Try not to let work distract you from that. It can be difficult to disconnect yourself from it when it has formed such a big part of your life. Both female leadership and motherhood are important issues in women’s lives and one should never have to choose one over the other. “Some women like to keep work a little on the radar. I am not sure this is a good idea for everyone as split attention is not really a good thing. Work projects will proceed and new ones will take their place, so step back and enjoy”, recommends Danica. “If you are really passionate about the work you do and your company brand, you can ask HR if you can be included on invitations to ‘bigger broadcasts’ like Town Halls, etc. to stay abreast of changes. I do not recommend any more detailed engagement for the majority of your maternity leave.”
Preparing for maternity leave
Know your rights. Firstly, it is important to know your rights and your company policy. Here in Ireland, all women are entitled to 42 weeks maternity leave which is divided into 26 weeks paid and an additional 16 weeks unpaid, but of course that differs in each country and state. In countries such as Estonia mothers receive up to 85 weeks paid maternity leave.
Get talking and start planning. Secondly, conversations must be had and a plan must be made. “To prepare for maternity leave - I always suggest having five or six key conversations - and take detailed notes - with a few key stakeholders that you trust and admire”, says Danica, “your line manager, members of your team, people that you deliver output to, etc., ask them what they think you do very well and if they have any advice for you to think about stretching or growing in when you return.” These notes will be useful to refer back to when you are on maternity leave and to help boost your self confidence when preparing your return to work. It is important that you treat your maternity leave as an opportunity for growth - for both you and your team. When devising a plan, think of how you can empower your team and delegate your work to them. This can be their chance to strengthen their skills and nurture new ones. Include in your plan your core responsibilities and recommendations for who should cover them. Not only will you be creating opportunities for others but it will give you control over work so you can focus more on your vital role outside the office - becoming a mother. The more plans and preparation put in place, the more present you can be when your child arrives.
Postnatal tip
Becoming a mother inevitably brings with it drastic changes, especially for first time parents. “The first six months in particular are an emotional and psychological roller coaster - just breathe and try not to make any big decisions. Naming your baby, bonding, deciding how you and the father are going to support each other in parenting and demonstrating that these are the important decisions and areas of focus.” Danica endorses deep breathing exercises, such as the Wim Hof Method, to manage these emotions and changes. “Push it aside and breathe because it can feel like a big part of your identity is withering away - it's not, it's just how this change feels.”
Preparing for the return to work
Research has consistently proven that the longer the maternity leave, the better the maternal and infant health outcome, so don’t be in any haste to return to work quickly. Revisit your achievements and those positive notes that were talked about before. Danica recommends “reading those notes about the things you are good at on the days when you are tired and worn down, as they will remind you of how valuable and good your brain is - it’s normal!”
Weaning on to work
As you approach your final few months prior to your return to work, gradually phase yourself back in. “Try and carve out 2-3 hours every couple of days for yourself”, Danica suggests, “one hour to exercise, one hour to read or listen to something work related (leadership podcast, TED Talk, LinkedIn learning, etc.) and one hour to think and write about how it relates to you.” It is essential that focus and purpose is given to each task. Danica proposes asking yourself simple questions to centre yourself and pinpoint key learnings:
What – What were the key points and topics?
So what – What does it mean to you, as a leader and a manager? How would you have applied that in your previous role, or next roles?
Now what – Identify the one key relevant take away or action that you would want to implement if your were leading in the organisation right now
Focus
About 6 weeks before you are ready to come back is when you start to really re-engage. “Reach out to your previous stakeholders that you interviewed (even if they have left the business) to find out what interesting things are on their work agenda these days. New technologies, new agendas, new structures you will find that not much has changed really - it just feels like it when you are “out of the loop.’ Danica suggests starting off with weekly chats with your line manager to figure out the key business priorities, how the team is doing and to establish the important priorities for your role when you return. Start to carve out 3-4 hours a day to focus - do research on the priorities, what are other companies or teams doing in relation to those, how would you approach it. “Getting the brain trained to do deep focus is challenging as it is not evolutionarily what mothers of young children need to be doing. Mothers of young children need to be scanning for dangers, interacting frequently and with fun and spontaneity with little sponges. This goes against the deep focus that is required for business problem solving and analysis so you have to muscle up those neural pathways against what other parts of your brain might be saying.”
Solid home set up
“Finally, make sure when you come back to work that you have a really good infrastructure set up at home so your baby has a solid routine every day and that the routine doesn't rely exclusively on you - this can eliminate the frazzle and pressure that so many new mothers face. This infrastructure (child care, house cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping-the things that keep a life running smoothly) is one of the most important predictors of your return to work success”. Danica advises on setting “it all up a few months before you return full time, try it out, adjust things, learn how it works for you-it is not intuitive and doesn't just “happen” - its like scoping out a new roles at work - identify the needs, the results required and back into it from there.”
Phase in
Phase yourself back in to work by initially starting with half days and 3-day weeks. Start back half way through the week and allow yourself to adjust. Simplify your life as much as you can, the return to work after maternity leave will bring on new emotions and changes. Now is the time to be kind to yourself and believe in yourself. The new skills you have gained by becoming a mother and your ever-growing emotional intelligence can help you become an even better leader. Remember, you were a strong, capable and fierce leader before and you will be again.
